Photo by Jem Sahagun on Unsplash
When Christmas music brings more ache than joy, small shifts can make a big difference. Learn three gentle, science-backed tips for navigating triggers and curating music that truly meets you where you are and supports your emotional well-being this season.
I’m Mindy Peterson, host of Enhance Life with Music podcast, where we explore the ways music transforms everyday life. And this is Microhance, a micro-dose of musical enhancement.
I was fortunate to grow up in a family that made the holidays a magical time of year. On top of that, my birthday is near Christmas, and my Mom always made sure that my birthday was a completely separate event and celebration. So between that extra excitement, and all the lights, fun foods, and generally happy mood I found most people to be in during the holiday season, traditional Christmas music truly represents for me “the most wonderful time of the year.” But I’m well aware that MANY people don’t feel this way.
If the holidays aren’t a happy time for you, for whatever reason, you’re NOT alone. The season brings complicated emotions. And the music that fills every store, commercial, and waiting room this time of year can make those emotions even bigger. So today, I want to offer a few gentle thoughts and research-backed tips to help you navigate this season with more comfort and control.
- Explore NEW holiday music that has zero emotional baggage.
One way to bypass triggers and still participate in sounds of the season is to choose music with no associations attached at all. There is so much new holiday music being released every year. Explore playlists like “Greatest Unknown Christmas Music,” “New Holiday Music,” “Non-Traditional Christmas Songs,” or “Non-Christmassy Christmas Songs” (you get the idea).
Listen to those or use them to build and curate your own list that is completely free of triggering songs. Develop your own healing memories. Each year you can update and tweak this list so it reflects where you are at that moment. Over time, this could become a kind of aural photo album, charting your holiday journey and progression.
A twist on this tip is to curate a completely non-holiday Purposeful Playlist to support your needs in this moment and season, whether that’s lowering stress, grounding yourself, boosting hope, or simply providing a sense of comfort. A Purposeful Playlist reflects your values – what matters to you right now – and can help you move through the season in a way that feels intentional rather than reactive. I’ll include a link in the show notes to Ep. 182 for tools from guest Jennifer Buchanan. - Be curious. When you’re ready, explore why certain holiday songs trigger you.
Psychologist and nostalgia professor Dr. Krystine Batcho discussed the bittersweet quality to both holiday music and nostalgia, way back in Episode 19. If this time of year is more bitter than sweet, she suggests gently asking: Why? Is it a reminder of unhappy holidays from the past? An anniversary of loss? Or simply the fatigue of hearing the same playlist everywhere you go? Once you identify the source, you can approach the season more intentionally – and even discover redemptive potential hidden in painful memories. Negative feelings can offer clues for personal discovery, growth, and moving forward.
Research shows nostalgia – even when it hurts – is strongly correlated with optimism and hope. And the holidays, for all their complexity, do open natural opportunities to reach out to others. That, in itself, is one of the most powerful antidotes to loneliness and sadness. - Lean into sad music – yes, it really can help.
In Episode 88, Dr. Kimberly Sena Moore helped us understand why listening to sad music can “hurt so good” – how and why it can actually make us feel better while we’re processing tough emotions. Sad songs can help us process the emotions we’re already feeling. Sad music can even help us see life more clearly – a concept called depressive realism. Knowing these songs were written by others experiencing these emotions helps us internalize the fact that we are not alone. And neurochemically, crying releases the hormone prolactin, which promotes a sense of tranquility and well-being.
If you’re grieving or feeling heavy, choosing sad music on purpose can offer emotional clarity and comfort – and enable you to physiologically complete the stress cycle.
If you’re navigating grief or loss this year, I’ve been there too. And sometimes the most comforting thing is simply finding the right song for the moment you’re in. I’ll link to a helpful episode from the Music for the Soul podcast in the show notes that includes the song “It Doesn’t Feel Like Christmas This Year,” which was exactly what I needed during a season of loss.
Wherever this season finds you, you can choose the music that supports you, let sad music help you process life, and create new sonic traditions that reflect where you are right now. Holidays and traditions can evolve as we do. I hope this inspires you to construct a musical framework for the season that honors your past, supports your present, and helps you imagine a more hopeful tomorrow.
You can always connect with me on email (mindy@mpetersonmusic.com), Facebook, Instagram, X, or LinkedIn; and by signing up for my monthly e-Newsletter.
I’m Mindy Peterson, and I hope this inspires you to enhance your life with music.
In-Episode Promo
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